Having spent many an hour immersed in Facebook’s flickering glow, I feel that I have become an authority on the nuances of the network. As someone who dabbles in obsessive compulsivity and making up words I feel inclined to set those of you straight who have wandered from proper usage of this Internet tool.
In no particular order:
1. “What’s on your mind?” is the question now asked by the status update text box. If I were to come up to you and ask you what you were thinking and you said “is having a bad day” I just might slap you. Sadly, the option to slap people was removed while FB was still in beta, and changed to “poke” which although mildly entertaining, does not inflict physical harm, thereby not encouraging proper use of the status update.
2. The teaser. Today we have a variety of ways to communicate. Many are limited to a certain amount of characters i.e. SMS, Twitter, etc. However, having a limited amount of characters is not an excuse for only saying “I am still sad, but feeling better” when you could say “I am sad that my dog died, but feeling better.” Now, I am not one for public declarations of personal moments, but if you are, at least do us the courtesy of not having to ask “What happened?” in order to adequately console you.
Feel free to distribute this guide as needed. I am sure that many of you feel the same pain as I.