Feature Interview

A special interview with the kid in class who comments more than anyone else, but shouldn’t.

TC: Thank you for meeting with me today, I appreciate you taking time away from your classes. What is your major?

Kid: Major?

T: Lets begin. Many times I have sat nearby you in my classes, though you always seem to look different. Sometimes you are a heavyset male with a purple bandana, and other times you are a bewildered, yet opinionated, freshman girl. How do you explain this?

K: I think its probably similar to the story of the trojan horse. I look like a man on top, but have the body of a horse.

T: Those are two different stories, that is completely wrong. You are a centaur? I have noticed that you prefer to sit close to the professor, is this to be sure that they can’t ignore you?

K: I think I knew someone like that. He led troops across the Potomac in the Revolutionary War.

T: Are you comparing yourself to George Washington? Either way, it’s not quite relevant. Moving on, how do you feel about constantly annoying your classmates who would rather listen to the teacher rather than you trying to wrap your head around the material outloud?

K: Four score, and seven years ago…

T: This interview is over.

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3 Comments

Filed under Satire

3 responses to “Feature Interview

  1. blakebishop

    Alright, this apparently went right over my head. I admit defeat by this article.

  2. Britton

    In contrast to going over my head, this article slapped me in the face and made me laugh. Well done.

    And in my class, it’s the heavyset kid with the purple bandana.

  3. Natalie Call

    In my past college classes it has always been the “older” college students. And by older I mean 40-50. I now have a new version of the annoying commenter. It is “the cool kid in class,” and might I add neither set of these pupils raise their hand.

    I now pose a question to you. Will this mathematical equation always prove true?

    cool kid in class shout-out-er + 30-40 years=older annoying commenter.

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