LEGLESS MAN IS ALSO STRONGEST, HEAVIEST MAN ON EARTH


Brooklyn NY?- Today an area man defined only by his blue shirt and wheelchair found himself in a scuffle between two hardly organized gangs officials said. After investigating the scene of the crime, an empty studio alleyway used in countless other low-budget films, they were able amass a considerable amount of clues.

The man apparently had some sort of motivation to injure the other men who are reportedly “strong as pre-schoolers”, and proceeded to eliminate them from the brawl by knocking them down, through unidentified methods, as any sort of physical force was shielded by slow editing.

“The methods used to cause the injuries are at this time unclear. The victims say that a small Korean/German woman and legless man were the cause, though I find this claim preposterous” said an area enforcement official who was parked nearby in his 3-wheeled meter surveillance vehicle.

Police officials aren’t ruling out the involvement of Ninjas, with poorly synced, fast paced speech at this time.

A video portrayal of the event can be found here.

Tyson Call- Asian Reporter

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